Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I've been Yolked

So, I'm sure you've all heard in grade school or at some point that an egg can be applied with a large amount of force as long as the pressure is even it will not break. It might be even demonstrated by a teacher squeezing an egg in her hand and it staying intact to the amazement of third grade minds....

It does not however work as a good bar bet between uneducated rednecks.

redneck1: Hey Hey! ya gotta egg?
redneck2: My friend just made a stupid bet! Says I ain't gotta payback tha hunerd dollars I owe 'em if I can break an egg in ma hand. So, ya gotta egg?
redneck1: It ain't possible I tell ya!
redneck1 and 2: (Unintelligible arguing back and forth seeing as how they are both drunk and from the backwoods)

me: Yeah, I've got an egg.
redneck 2: Bring TWO! I'll do it twice!

I bring two, we go into the commons area and redneck 1 is demonstrating how redneck 2 is supposed to roll it in his hand to squeeze it.

me:So what exactly is the bet?
redneck 1:That he cant break an egg in his hand. If he does it then he dudn't have ta pay me back.

The egg is handed to redneck 2 who promptly breaks it, squirting egg yolk over everyone and bystander 1's truck.

redneck 1: NAW NAW! You didn't do it right!
redneck2: I broke it did'n I!

redneck 2 grabs the second egg and does the same as the first.

redneck 1: Naw! your usin' your fingertips or sump'n!
bystander 1: My truck! Ya'll better wash that off or ya'll are gettin me a new paint job!

The story ends with no one oweing anyone any money. The neighbor getting his truck washed. And everyone covered in yolk.

Moral of the story: Don't mess with a southern mans truck.

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